


Snow Globe Memories

by skeleton_twins



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, Reconciliation, Regret, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8978470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeleton_twins/pseuds/skeleton_twins
Summary: The holiday season brought memories rushing back. Reminisces of soft breathy noises and the touch of pale trembling hands. He hopes that with a considerable amount of alcohol, he’ll be able to drown out the memories, to forget the taste of the young criminal kingpin’s skin.A part of him wonders if he really wants to forget.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for the GobblepotWinter2016, I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Big shout out to thekeyholder for betaing this and for encouraging me to finish this fic!

Jim Gordon hates the holidays. It isn’t the cold, biting winds or Christmas itself; in fact, Jim used to love the holiday when he was younger, before his father died. He doesn’t have any problems with seeing all the bright lights, or the flying snowballs and the following sounds of children laughter.

 

The holiday season brought memories rushing back. Reminisces of soft breathy noises and the touch of pale trembling hands. He hopes that with a considerable amount of alcohol, he’ll be able to drown out the memories, to forget the taste of the young criminal kingpin’s skin.

 

A part of him wonders if he really wants to forget.

 

It happened the Christmas before. Honestly, it was bound to happen.The two of them were a ticking time bomb.The heavy atmosphere whenever they were in each other’s vicinity, always surrounded by people much to Jim’s chagrin. He knows now that they were a countermeasure, because the second he was alone with the gangster, he didn’t even try to put up a fight and conceded to his desires without so much as a second thought.

 

It struck midnight and Jim found himself alone on Christmas. Loneliness was an easy scapegoat to explain his next actions - why he’d ended up on the doorsteps of Oswald’s manor. He was lonely and tired of being so. Why not go to the one place with the one person who appreciated his efforts to save this city, even if they played a role in its destruction. The one person whose eyes always lit up when they saw him.

 

It had been snowing, little flakes of snow caught on the collar of his grey coat. He had considered just turning around and forgetting ever coming there in the first place when the door suddenly opened. It was one of Oswald’s henchmen, burly, who always seemed to be stuck to Penguin’s side.

 

“Cobblepot’s inside?” Jim asked, recalling the man’s name, Gabe, he thought.

 

Gabe nodded, and held the door for him. Jim was worried that he was going to follow him back inside, but it looked like the henchman had other plans for the evening. He found Cobblepot in the room Gabe had pointed him towards, with accounting ledgers scattered in front of him.

 

Jim cleared his throat, startling the mobster, and Oswald’s head shot up from the books. His eyes widened when he saw Jim standing there in the middle of his dining room. “Jim!”

 

“To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?” Oswald stood from his seat.

 

Jim didn’t answer, tilted his head back towards the direction he came in, “I guess crime doesn’t stop even for the holidays?”

 

Oswald’s eyes narrowed, confused, before the corner of his lips twitched upwards. “Nothing to worry about, detective. I merely sent Gabe home to be with his family - it is Christmas, after all - one should be with their loved ones.

 

“I am curious, though, should I be flattered that you’re here of all places on _Christmas_ to check up on little old me?”

 

Jim snorted at that. They both knew that Oswald Cobblepot was a lot more dangerous than what met the eye.That was how he had got so far ahead - people underestimating him.

 

Oswald’s coquettish tone was hard to miss, along with how his eyes were trailing over Jim. And there it was, that look that Jim was craving all night.There was a hint of lust and want in Oswald’s gaze - it was always there in their past encounters, and this time Jim didn’t ignore it.

 

They’re alone - completely alone - for the first time in a long time. He could almost hear a buzz from all the electricity in the air, crackling in the space between them, causing goosebumps to appear on his arms.

 

Jim was lonely and greedy. So when Oswald asked him what he wanted, Jim didn’t hesitate answering:

 

“You.”

 

It took him two seconds to cross the room, another second to pull Oswald closer and wrapped his hands around the back of the gangster’s thighs, lifting him. Oswald clung to him, didn’t waste any time, and directed him to one of his bedrooms, kissing him in between words. When they reached the room, the urgency bled away and time froze for them, encapsulating them to their own little bubble.

 

Jim didn’t rush the rest of the night. He took his time learning Oswald’s body inside and out, discovering what caused him to arch against Jim, finding where his kisses elicited the most noise from the younger man.

 

He didn’t think he’d heard anything more beautiful than Oswald begging for release, voice completely blown out. He’d thought about this before, late at night, and reality was so much better than his dreams. And to this day he can still hear Oswald’s voice ringing in his ears.

 

Jim left early the next morning, before Oswald awoke, telling himself that the night before was a mistake. He tried to convince himself that leaving is the right thing to do, but all he managed to do is trap the memory of their night they shared in a snowglobe. Forever existing, unable to fade away, no matter how many times it’s shaken.

 

Not staying had single-handedly caused a glass wall to form between them. Oswald is cold towards him, rightfully so, the first time they run into each other months after the incident. He avoids the icy glares, pretends that seeing Oswald doesn’t make his heart speed up.

 

When  the time for election season comes, Jim finds himself drawn to Gotham’s community hall, taking a seat in the front row, watching Mayor James up on the stage, giving a loud speech about protecting Gotham.

 

He doesn’t even know why he came, not being one for politics, but here he is, and by some luck, the other candidate ends up sitting right next to him. Of course, when Oswald first discovers the seating arrangements, he tries to protest - wanting to be as far away from Jim as physically possible - but one of the campaign helpers informs him that there’s no other empty seat and apologies for the inconvenience.

 

The rest of the speech, Jim pays no attention to the Mayor on stage; instead, his focus is fixed on the man beside him. Oswald is pissed, with his arms folded tightly across his chest, but throughout the night he loosens up, arms falling to his side, forgetting Jim’s presence as he listens to his opponent. After a while, Oswald begins making comments under his breath, criticizing the Mayor.

 

Jim slips up and snorts after one derisive remark from the gangster, and surprise shows on Oswald’s face. A touch of pride is evident in his expression for drawing out a laugh from the usually stoic cop. There’s a tight feeling in Jim’s chest seeing Oswald happy, and he wants it to last and make him forget about Jim’s past transactions. He joins in throwing comments and Oswald _giggles._ For a second, they both catch each other’s gazes before Oswald gives a small hesitant smile.

 

Jim has a light-bulb moment then, realizing how easy it is to be around the mobster, how being with him was effortless and wasn’t tiring. _This_ , this is what Jim has been looking for all his life in past partners, and it cuts him to the core knowing that they could have been something, had Jim not walked out on Oswald last Christmas.

 

“Oswald…” Jim starts, and as soon as the name left his mouth, Oswald frowns, remembering that he was in fact still angry with Jim and sharply turns away.

 

He ignores Jim for the rest of the night, and while Jim knows he deserves this, it doesn’t help ease the ache in his chest.

 

So it isn’t the holiday that Jim hates, it surrounds him - the holiday festivities - and instead of it bringing a warm feeling to his chest, it’s simply just another painful reminder of what he’s lost - that chance of happiness which slipped through his fingers, all because Jim was a coward.

 

The worst part, Jim thinks, is how Oswald has moved on. He’s doing well for himself - becoming the mayor of Gotham - seemingly has forgotten about their one time tryst. Jim has no right to be bothered by the fact that Oswald doesn’t seem plagued and haunted with memories the way he is.

 

As the holiday grows closer, his mood worsens, and even Harvey begins to notice it. They’re sitting at their desk, trying to get through the mountain of paperwork threatening to tip over.

 

Harvey drops the file in his hands and turns his focus to Jim. “Alright, I wasn’t going to ask because _with you_ it’s better off not knowing, but spill, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

 

“You punched Santa Claus!”

 

“I stopped a criminal,” Jim corrects, and if he does feel a bit better punching the face that represents Christmas, he’s not going to mention it.

 

They spent their morning chasing down Santa Claus - well, a criminal dressed up as Santa Claus - because this was Gotham, anything could happen. The man was hired at several shops to dress up as Santa Claus for the little kids, and when he wasn’t being Saint Nick, he was stealing from the store.

 

It wasn’t an easy arrest; Jim and Harvey tracked him to Gotham’s mall. The suspect was in the middle of a gig, young kids bouncing in place excitedly, waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap. They couldn’t cause a scene here, not without traumatizing a bunch of children by handcuffing Santa. So they decided to stand in the back, and wait for another Santa to take their suspect’s place. Of course, as soon as their suspect saw them lurking in the back, he took off. But Jim quickly cut his escape short with a nice punch to the face.

 

“Listen, I’m all for giving scumbags a good beating, but I know you _aren’t,_ unless you’re angry, so what gives?”

 

Jim doesn’t respond, because he couldn’t possibly answer with the truth: “The holidays make me remember that time I slept with a criminal, and I think I’m in love with him.”

 

Harvey rolls his eyes at Jim’s silence, but drops the subject, “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve been cordially invited to attend Gotham’s Christmas Charity Gala. When I say we - I mean you.”

 

“What? Why aren’t you going?”

 

“Because I already told the Captain that I’m coming down with something.” Harvey gives a fake cough for emphasis. “Apparently the folks who are hosting it want to make the new Mayor feel all welcome, requested police protection for him and all.”

 

Jim’s ears perk up at that. Oswald is going to be there?

 

“Alright.” Jim nods, keeping his expression as neutral as possible, and returns his focus back on the file in front of him.

 

“Alright?” Harvey narrow his eyes behind his glasses. “What do you mean alright? Why are you suddenly on board with this, especially since you’ll be glued to Penguin’s side all night?”

 

 _That’s not going to be a problem,_ Jim thinks, but his face must have revealed something, because Harvey lets out a groan.

 

“Oh no, please tell me you do not seriously have a thing for Penguin?!”

 

Jim doesn’t say anything.

 

“If this was a joking matter, I would honestly laugh at the irony of the situation. Penguin’s been pining after you since forever, and what, he becomes Mayor and suddenly you have the hots for him?”

 

“Keep your voice down,” Jim hisses, glancing around to make sure no one overheard. “It’s complicated, alright?”

 

“It’s always complicated with you, Jimbo. When did this even happen?”

 

“Last Christmas.” Jim admits with great reluctance. “I… We…”

 

Harvey’s eyes widen with understanding of Jim’s embarrassed mumbling.

 

“You slept with him!” Harvey guffaws, doubles over his desk. “And while you got everyone here fooled by your boy scout act, you’re out there sleeping with criminals.”

 

While throughout the day Harvey randomly burst into laughing fits, Jim doesn’t mind all that much; in fact, he feels a bit relieved getting it off his chest. Even though Harvey warns him that getting involved with someone like Penguin is a colossal mistake. Still, he’s supportive in his own way, when the day of the Gala finally arrives, Harvey shoots him two thumbs up for good luck.

 

Jim realizes, hours before the party, that he has absolutely no idea what to wear. He feels ridiculous, like he’s traded places with a teenager who’s panicking over the right outfit to wear for their first date. Oswald isn’t the only reason he wants to looks nice; it’s a formal attire event, if he’s going to represent the GCPD, he should at least blend in with the crowd. Luckily, he finds an old tuxedo in the back of his closet. There’s a layer of dust that’s been accumulating over the years that he has to dust off, and the suit is a bit snug in certain places, but overall he doesn’t think he looks too bad.

 

When he arrives, the party’s abuzz, lit with Christmas lights and the halls are overflowing with the wealthiest families of Gotham. Jim feels a bit of an outsider, with his too small suit and cheap shoes. He dodges conversations and heads for the main room, eyes searching for the reason he showed up to this event in the first place.

 

It doesn’t take long for his eyes to land on Oswald. He’s surrounded by people laughing at whatever he’s saying. He looks good, really good, and Jim can’t tear his eyes away from the Mayor.

 

Oswald must have felt eyes on him, because soon after, he turns mid-conversation to locate the source. His entire face changes when his eyes lock with Jim’s. Jim’s heart lurches and seems to get caught in his throat when Jim realizes Oswald is making his way towards him, the tip of his cane smacking loudly across the floor.

 

“What are you doing here?!” Oswald’s angry, but doesn’t raise his voice higher than a whisper, not wanting the people around them to listen in.

 

“Representing the precinct,” Jim answers calmly, “Here at the request of the hosts, they wanted you to be protected in case of any threats.”

 

Oswald rolls his eyes, snorts, “No, they don’t. They just want to make sure I donate.”

 

“Regardless of the reason, I’m here to protect you tonight.”

 

That only seems to make Oswald angrier, “I don’t need your _protection_.”

 

The last word is spitted out with disgust, but the effect is ruined when someone bumps into him, knocking Oswald straight into Jim’s arms.

 

He catches Oswald easily, hands gripping his waist. Even though it’s been an entire year, it clicks into place, the familiarity of the body under his hands. Air quickly leaves his lungs at their close proximity.

 

It seems the Mayor is equally affected: Jim catches Oswald’s eyes drifting to the undone button on his shirt. Jim’s internally thanking whatever deity out there for his suit being too tight to properly button it all the way. Oswald visibly swallows, the tip of his tongue slips out and wettens his lower lip, and Jim is flooded with memories of last year’s Christmas.

 

Something snaps Oswald out of his reverie, and he shakes Jim’s hands off, stepping away.

 

“I don’t want and certainly do not _need_ you, Jim Gordon.” Oswald sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself of that sentiment than Jim. “You might as well just leave - you are good at that, aren’t you?”

 

The Mayor spins around before Jim has a chance to respond. Jim calls out to him, but Oswald disappears into the crowd.

 

Jim spends the next hour looking for Oswald, because he needs to explain his actions from last year. There might still be a chance to salvage what’s left of their relationship. The fact that Oswald’s still angry gives Jim hope. Anger means he still cares. Anything is better than indifference.

 

When he finally locates Oswald, Jim stops short: Oswald’s not alone. There’s a young man at his side, looking up at him with adoring eyes. Oswald’s clearly soaking up the attention, letting his hand rest on the small part of his suitor’s lower back. Jim’s sick to his stomach. He hasn’t even considered the possibility that Oswald was with someone else now. He’s never heard about any rumors of the Mayor’s love life in the tabloids, something he paid close attention to just in case.

 

Oswald must have kept this quiet, he’s certainly isn’t acting shy about the nature of his relationship with the man now. Every light touch, every smile that’s not direct towards him sends another pang in his chest. Jim doesn’t stay to watch, doesn’t think his heart could take it. He flees, pushing past people, to the restroom.

 

He tries getting the image of Oswald with another man out of his thoughts, but it burns into his memory. Jim splashes water onto his face, hoping it will clear his mind. He ducks his head, not wanting to see his reflection in the mirror.

 

It was foolish, Jim thinks, foolish to come here. Of course, Oswald has moved on, and why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t as if Jim made his intentions clear - quite the opposite in fact.

 

Jim is lost in his own self pity, too distracted to hear the bathroom door opening.

 

It’s the familiar tapping that causes him to look up.

 

The noise stops as Oswald falters, surprised to see Jim. The room goes still, soundless, as they stand there, staring at one another.

 

Jim breaks the long silence, not able to take another second of it. “Do you love him?”

 

Jim needs to know, he has to know the truth whether there’s still a chance for them.

 

The question causes Oswald’s eyes to lit up with fury, “You have the _audacity_ -”

 

“Tell me if you love him,” Jim interrupts, takes a step forward closer. “Tell me you love him and I’ll leave right now.”

 

“Why do you even care?” Oswald’s voice shakes as he asks, as Jim closes the distance between them.

 

“Because I’m in love with you.”

 

Oswald’s eyes widen at his confession and his mouth drops, hangs open, but he’s unable to speak.

 

“I never should have left that night,” Jim continues, and finally, it’s like a weight has been lifted. He’s been holding onto that anchor of truth for a year now. “I’m sorry, Oswald, I’m sorry I left you...”

 

Oswald is quiet for a minute and it’s the longest sixty seconds of Jim’s life.

 

“I don’t… I don’t love him.” Oswald’s voice is barely a whisper.

 

His next words are spoken with conviction, and his eyes are similar to a blazing fire. “You broke my heart, Jim… If you’re just going to leave again-”

 

Jim cuts him off, kissing him soundly. A little noise escapes Oswald’s mouth as he gets pushed back against the wall, his cane clattering onto the floor.

 

“I’m not-,” Jim promises in between kisses, “I’m not going to leave.”

 

He aims his kisses lower, down along Oswald’s jawline, drawing out the sweetest sounds from the man.

 

“Jim…” Hands are being pressed into his chest, gently pushing him away.

 

He stills at his name being said, pulls back a little in order to see Oswald’s face. Jim’s afraid that he might be rushing things too quickly for the gangster. His heart is drumming loud and fast in his chest, and Jim struggles to catch his breath.

 

“I-I love you too.” Oswald tells him, blushing, and a genuine smile breaks across Jim’s face, feels like it’s the first one he has had all year. “But I’m not having sex with you in a bathroom.”

 

Jim chuckles at the affronted expression on Oswald’s face at the mere thought of doing so.

 

“Alright, but I want to make it up to you,” Jim tells him, dropping to his knees. Oswald’s chest heaving, as his pupils start to dilate, lust swallowing the color in his eyes, at the sight of Jim on his knees in front of him.

 

The Mayor announces his exit shortly after their rendezvous in the bathroom, not wanting to waste another second socializing with strangers, and Jim follows suit. It’s obvious, them standing next to each other, what they’ve been up too - the Mayor’s slicked back hair looks like fingers have been running through it, and Jim knows how disheveled he must appear. They don’t even try to be subtle, making eyes at one another while they quickly leave the party together. Jim doesn’t care, he’ll face the consequences tomorrow.

 

On the drive back to the manor, Oswald curls up next to him, sated, and rests his head on Jim’s shoulder. He grabs Oswald’s hand and kisses it. He knows that there’s still a lot they need to discuss, but not tonight - tonight he’s just going to make up for all the lost time, properly show Oswald just how sorry he is for leaving.

 

They can discuss things tomorrow morning.

 


End file.
